Practicing and Preaching

This whole starting a business thing is slooowwww. I feel like I have been doing it forever, but have little to show for it. I need a change of perspective. So, the following is what I would tell someone who is where I am right now and thinking of bailing. I am writing this because it is what I need to hear and I know that I have these answers. If I am not listening to others, maybe I will listen to myself.

Dear B;

I got your information about where you are at in the new small business process. I completely understand your frustration along with your fears. The best thing you can do with those feelings is walk through them, talk them out, yell at the wall and throw your hands up from time to time. Ignoring them or letting them fester without working them out will result in the loss of your progress. Feeling them, acting through them and moving past them is the only way to truly get over them.

Acting through your fears and acting on your fears are two different things. Based on what you have shared, one of your fears is financial ruin. If you acted on that fear, you would likely walk away from this new adventure and find an unsatisfying job that offered money, but little personal reward. Or, you may just dig your head in the sand and pretend this whole business never happened, continue to live in fear and never enjoy the rewards, both financially and emotionally, of creating your own products. Acting through your fears means that you feel the fear, take the appropriate steps to face them head-on and relieve some of the weight the fear places on your shoulders. Acting through it involves creating financial goals, discussing and making a financial plan and holding yourself accountable for the results. Just as an example.

At this point in the process, you likely feel that you have wasted time "educating" yourself on the market, the products and the various techniques available to you. Please remember that you have three small children, it is one week into a new school year and this is a completely different way of showing up financially then you ever have before. Considering your idea to start this business was born out of looking online for different project to do and reading different blogs about moms' experiences, it is only natural that a lot of your time is currently being used to continue that "research." From that process, your brain has taken in a lot of information and it is storing it in there. It may be hard to see, but when you sit down to create something, or when you are laying in bed thinking about a new design, your brain is going through the things that you have read and is using it to your creative advantage. So, chill out. Your time has not been wasted.

Here are some suggestions I have for you going forward:

1. Take some time everyday to focus a few moments (or more) on tangible business plans, ideas or paperwork. This takes time, and because you do not have a lot of it, break it up and do a little here and there. It will happen.
2. After your kids are in bed, before you sit on the couch, go to your sewing room and breathe. It may just be a minute, you may stay there for hours, but take just a moment to determine what your body and emotions need for the night. It could mean that you go to the couch, or bed, or it could mean that you spend hours finishing a project or starting new ones. But take a moment to stop and listen.
3. When you are doing your, in your mind, "useless web surfing", start bookmarking, linking and writing about the things you see. It will become apparent that you are learning things and you are able to use those to your advantage. If, while online, you have not done one of those things, it may be time to turn off your computer and be done for the day.
4. Write a gratitude list. Duh.

Most importantly, smile. This is fun! You are a creative woman and you have all the talent and smarts to do this. Keep moving forward.

Love, 

B.