Sunday, January 20, 2013

Rules of Parenting

1. There are no rules.
2. Grab the camera first, ask questions later.
3. Keep notes with pictures to prove you had fun when they are older and are convinced they had a horrible upbringing.
4. Let them watch some TV. How else will they learn the word "hate" and "stupid"?!
5. Share them. "Oh, I'd love to watch your kids someday!" "Ok, how about Saturday night?"
6. Coffee (or wine. It's not my thing, but go for it)
7. Let someone else take them to Chucky Cheese.

Friday, January 18, 2013

The right words

I need to blog.
Not because I feel like I have really important stuff to say, but because I tell myself nothing I have to say is important.
Maybe I can just say it and see of its important...

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Ace in the Face

Upon waking, actually before fully waking up, Adriana rolled over and said "mom, I remember being in your tummy. It was black and hazy and we were yellow"
Me: could you see your sister?
A: yes, she was yellow too.
R: (popping out of the blanket) I remember too, I was in this position (balls legs up to chest) and I was playing cards. (With a goofy face)'ya got an ace'"
Later, when getting dressed...
R; Adriana, I can see your butt!
Me: could you see each others butt in my tummy?
A: yes. Then I sat on her and dropped an ace in her face.

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

She bothered me with science.

Ruby (5) to Harper (2) (while eating raisins): Harper, if you eat this, it will travel down your body, you will poop it out, it will travel to the sewer, rats will eat it, they will poop it out, then it will live on for eternity getting eaten and pooped out. It is like it will be forever on a water slide or at a water park. 
Me: why water slide and water park?
Ruby: Because your body is like a water slide for food, then when it comes out, it lands in a water park where it waits for the next water slide. 
Harper: I don't want to talk about it. (throws raisin on floor).

Tuesday, September 11, 2012


If I were to be honest with you, I strive for routine and normalcy, but thrive in chaos. This leaves me at a bit of a stalemate most of the time. I have a list and schedule that I can follow and get everything I need to done and have time to do more for myself. Instead, I choose to sit on the couch and think about things (typically while simultaneously surfing the web and catching up on Supernatural on Netflix). Then I give myself about 20 minutes to do the ‘task’ that was scheduled to take all afternoon. I go to bed almost every night exhausted. Not because I am physically wiped out, but from emotionally beating myself up for not following the plan once again. It is a self-designed set up for failure.  I know myself well enough to know that if I want to get something done, I have to not think about it. Conversely, if I want to ensure nothing gets done, I plan it.
I am also too well aware of my fear of success and my fear of failure. When I put those two together, it is a clusterfuck of inaction and self-loathing in its outcome. Unfortunately, as GI Joe (at least in my memory) once said, “knowing is half the battle.” Knowing this about me is only half the journey into the clusterfuck. The other half is taking the action to get out of it. I am in a constant state of trying to get to the later.
Here is the rub, I am not sure I have sufficiently been beaten into a state of willingness to take the action necessary to dig my way out of the jam I actively walked into. I know that I can. But Alphas is on. So maybe tomorrow.

2 down, 754 to go

I have taken some pride in being a laid back, it-will-all-work-out mom. Two weeks ago, that pride took a major hit. Up until then, I could not wait until my oldest daughters started kindergarten. Knowing we were planning on a full day program, the idea of a whole 6-7 hours big-kidless seemed awesome. One week before the big day, I lost my shit.
As you may know, I am a control freak. At the meet-and-greet for the kids a week before school, we found ut they would be in seperate classrooms. All logic and reason flew from my soul when I read that and I spirled into a holy-shit-I-just-broke-my-kids meltdown. That is not an easy thing to do when I am standing with my two five year olds in a packed hallway where 95% speak spanish (duel immersion school). So I smiled, walked to the edge of the crowd and waited for my husband to arrive to proceed. Seeing his face releived some of the anxitiy, until we had to split up to meet the girls' teachers. We got through it, I was a total bitch to my kids the rest of the day (becasue that is my coping mechnism) and I cried myself to sleep.
The next couple days were filled with second guessing, deserate searches for jobs to pay $1 million dollars a year for private school, less deperate searches for jobs to pay for therapy and a lot of talking to other moms.
The day off, we were up, dressed, fed and at the bus between the ass crack of dawn and super fucking early. Grandma, Grandpa, Nana, Papa, Mom, Dad and little Sister all in attendance. Bus came, girls ran off (without a kiss) and they were gone.They came home, loved school and we did it again the next day (minus the audience). That was it. No more drama. No more tears from me. I was alright.
Then, it was my Baby's first day of preschool. Like her big sisters, she wanted nothing to do with the kiss-your-mom at the door fiasco. By the time I picked her up, she was happy, tired and ready to go back. I cried all day and then to sleep.

I miss them. But, after surviving the first couple weeks, I am getting stronger, but, unfortunately, the kids are struggling a bit. The lack of play time and quick meal times is starting to show in their attitudes and energy levels. Back to whining and snacking!
The biggest thing I learned from this process is that I am a good mom. I don’t say that to sound egotistical (but, let’s face it, I kind of am), it is just that my kids are ok. They were not afraid to try something new. They have been able to transition into a new environment well. I am also ok. I am not just sitting around watching soaps (despite my desire to). I feel good about this chapter. I am excited, scared and walking forward. There are so many exciting things in the works that I cannot wait to unveil and get moving on. 

Friday, January 27, 2012

Quilting Crack

I want to quilt. Really bad. All I need is 20 hours of uninterrupted time and a shit ton of space. I envision that happening sometime in 2102.
There are some places I can go and pay to use the Long Arm Quilting machines. But that requires a financial commitment that I am not invested in. Let me rephrase that, I am not invested in the places that offer those services. Is it wrong that I base that level of disinterest in the hair styles of the people who work there?
There are some other options, but until they start to come together, I will have to settle for making these in my head...

This particular beauty has to be looked at closely...

It is a f'ing street map. What. The. Douce?! Can you imagine this with your city? The place you went for your honeymoon? Put a Red Star on your home??!! Damn. I could go crazy making these.


This is just the cutest wedding idea ever.

Imagine this as a gift? I would love it. I am in two weddings this summer and would LOVE to make these for them!


I love that this one looks almost silky. No borders and, from the looks of it, no machine quilting.

Project with vintage sheets? Maybe yarn knots every so often like my grandmothers' quilts? Simple.


Grey Pink Yellow...

Yes Please.


But I can Crochet...

Seems like this could be a interesting project. Do a thin, simple white quilt and sew on some crochet pieces to make a design? Give me an hour...


Maybe instead of starting with the queen size one I have waiting for me in the studio, I could just do a simple, small one. Lesson learning.

Ok, I need to get back to this crazy ass movie I am half watching.
Crack time over.