Bathing in Pajamas

Some days are just like that. You get one dressed all warm, hair combed, new diaper, and she sneaks by you to jump back in with her sister.

After the day (week? month?) I have had, my first thought would be to scream. Not in a good way. Thankfully, that lasted about .00001 seconds. The next thought was to laugh. Then get my phone to snap a picture, of course. In retrospect, this little act by a clueless child (clueless because she really had no idea that getting into a tub while fully dry may not be the best idea), reminded me to chill out.

I have been feeling like a fish swimming upstream for a few days, never quite being able to catch up. This reminds me that it is not my time or my agenda. Yes, I make the plans and create the agenda for the day, but, really, it is just a guideline. So what if we want to deviate and draw on our hands for an hour, or jump back into the bathtub. I am pretty sure my children, and me, will remember the laughs, hugs and cuddles, not the clean floor or the organized bookshelf. Don't get me wrong (I feel like I say that a lot), I will continue to obsess about the 'stuff', and it truly does feel good to be immersed in a clean organized space, but it feels better when my daughter looks at me and says she loves me and this was the best day ever.

Couponing

I can not believe this is happening to me. I sit here, with my head in my hands, thinking "Why, God??! WHY?!"

I am going to try couponing. I think the fact that spell check does not recognize that as a word is a sign. Don't do it. In fact, when I attempt to correct the spelling, the only word offered to replace it is 'coupling'. I am sure the powers that be are telling me something. And I am sure it is good.

But, for the love of God, I can not seem to get this budget stuff under control! I know I am good at controlling pretty much everything else in my life, why not this (she says with her head hung low because we all know that is fiction)!

My daughters are picky eaters. I try to feed them good, whole food as often as possible, but they want little of that. Smoothies, fruit and cheese. That is about it. Yet I spend an ungodly amount on food every month. It is the quick snacks, things that look good at that moment and the inability to plan past the hour that gets me. So I am going to try something new.

I have a menu plan. I have websites bookmarked to clip coupons. I am going to be bringing a binder shopping with me next time. Shit. I am that girl.

Anyone want to watch a train wreak? Keep following this process with me, you are bound to see it.

Practicing and Preaching

This whole starting a business thing is slooowwww. I feel like I have been doing it forever, but have little to show for it. I need a change of perspective. So, the following is what I would tell someone who is where I am right now and thinking of bailing. I am writing this because it is what I need to hear and I know that I have these answers. If I am not listening to others, maybe I will listen to myself.

Dear B;

I got your information about where you are at in the new small business process. I completely understand your frustration along with your fears. The best thing you can do with those feelings is walk through them, talk them out, yell at the wall and throw your hands up from time to time. Ignoring them or letting them fester without working them out will result in the loss of your progress. Feeling them, acting through them and moving past them is the only way to truly get over them.

Acting through your fears and acting on your fears are two different things. Based on what you have shared, one of your fears is financial ruin. If you acted on that fear, you would likely walk away from this new adventure and find an unsatisfying job that offered money, but little personal reward. Or, you may just dig your head in the sand and pretend this whole business never happened, continue to live in fear and never enjoy the rewards, both financially and emotionally, of creating your own products. Acting through your fears means that you feel the fear, take the appropriate steps to face them head-on and relieve some of the weight the fear places on your shoulders. Acting through it involves creating financial goals, discussing and making a financial plan and holding yourself accountable for the results. Just as an example.

At this point in the process, you likely feel that you have wasted time "educating" yourself on the market, the products and the various techniques available to you. Please remember that you have three small children, it is one week into a new school year and this is a completely different way of showing up financially then you ever have before. Considering your idea to start this business was born out of looking online for different project to do and reading different blogs about moms' experiences, it is only natural that a lot of your time is currently being used to continue that "research." From that process, your brain has taken in a lot of information and it is storing it in there. It may be hard to see, but when you sit down to create something, or when you are laying in bed thinking about a new design, your brain is going through the things that you have read and is using it to your creative advantage. So, chill out. Your time has not been wasted.

Here are some suggestions I have for you going forward:

1. Take some time everyday to focus a few moments (or more) on tangible business plans, ideas or paperwork. This takes time, and because you do not have a lot of it, break it up and do a little here and there. It will happen.
2. After your kids are in bed, before you sit on the couch, go to your sewing room and breathe. It may just be a minute, you may stay there for hours, but take just a moment to determine what your body and emotions need for the night. It could mean that you go to the couch, or bed, or it could mean that you spend hours finishing a project or starting new ones. But take a moment to stop and listen.
3. When you are doing your, in your mind, "useless web surfing", start bookmarking, linking and writing about the things you see. It will become apparent that you are learning things and you are able to use those to your advantage. If, while online, you have not done one of those things, it may be time to turn off your computer and be done for the day.
4. Write a gratitude list. Duh.

Most importantly, smile. This is fun! You are a creative woman and you have all the talent and smarts to do this. Keep moving forward.

Love, 

B.

Pool and Shade

 First beautiful, not humid day. Headed to the park with water and play. H loved it.

R and A, hid in the shade and awkwardly ventured out to watch other kids play.

Cause that is how we roll.

 

First Crochet 'n Stuff

So. I am a nerd. Big time. And I am pretty sure once I find something to crack out on, I do it until my eyes bleed. 

On that note, I finished my first crochet project! Yep, learned how to last week, got back from vacation, bought yarn on Sunday, finished project while waiting to get my tooth fixed (broke it on a Sugar Daddy...go ahead, I have about 5 comebacks). Here it is. I kinda love it. 

 

I followed this tutorial by the super rad Julie at Gleeful Things. Might be in love.

I also want you to see my new tooth. This picture makes them look fake. And that smile is just not at all how I smile...

And I love my neighborhood. Enjoyed everything about it. Even the bag of candy we brought home. How many points is a box (not bag) of Sour Patch Kids? I am going to say one. We, in an effort to block the consumption of sugar in our home, we baked a cake. A double chocolate cake with butter-cream frosting. Girls wanted it pink with blue letters. Done. 

Enjoy your neighborhood! If you don't love it, the house across the street for me is for sale. Just saying.

I need a new craft like I need another hole in my head...

But, hell, I learned a new one anyway. Every year we spend a week at a Resort in Northern Minnesota. It is the best week of the year. We, meaning my Mother's Family, rent out all seven cabins and then add about 4 tents (have I told you I come from a big family?). Food, lake, food, crafts, campfire, food and more laughs then should be allowed. Oh, and trashy magazines. A lot of trashy magazines. I really did not want to spend my time knitting, embroidering or sewing, rather with my kids and my hands full of food and magazines. Well. that lasted about a day.   

New addiction. Oops. Maybe next year.
Here are some more pics. Can not wait until next year.

 

I swear...

I am not going to say that I will post more. But, I do want to post more. There are about 478 things I want to write about. I have some dope ass sewing projects going on (maybe too many), thinking about getting my PhD, trying to determine what my book will be about, attempting to fill summer down time with creative activities, taking as many pictures as I can, trying to enlarge my spiritual life and starting (is doing it for 2 years still considered starting?) a business. So...for now...I will just leave it at that. Pretty much cause H just woke up and my I can not seem to walk the 8 feet to the box with the camera and cord in it, plug it in and download pictures. I will just lay on the floor with H... Yo.